me in the early hours of the morning scrolling through #TrumpHasCovid after saying i'd only go on twitter and look at it for 30 minutes: pic.twitter.com/Dg92mqgnMv
— minka segal (@minkasegal) October 2, 2020
It would seem that two recent events have galvanized comedians like nothing in recent memory, first the ridiculous farce that was the first presidential debate (check out our Top Jokes From #DebateNight2020) – and now, #TrumpHasCovid. Perhaps it’s that comedians have, for the most part, lost their ability to perform, to tour, and are pent up from being stuck inside for months and just needed to lash out at something. Perhaps, like all of us, they’ve been sitting there inundated with partisan bullshit on the news and media, day in and day out, and they finally snapped. Either way, as the kids like to say, WE ARE HERE FOR IT! The jokes have been pouring in fast and furious on Twitter and Facebook for days on end. It’s very hard to keep up. But here’s a sampling of some of the best jokes we’ve seen since Trump tweeted he has The Rona. As well as some up front, disclaimer thoughts for those of you think it’s “not funny” or “not something to joke about.”
You don’t think the president catching covid is hilarious? Were you paying attention to the first half of the movie?
— Luis J. Gomez (@luisjgomez) October 3, 2020
To everybody complaining about comics making jokes tonight, hey man, you told us to stick to comedy
— Auggie Smith (@AuggieSmith) October 2, 2020
Four years of total chaos have prepared us for this moment.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) October 2, 2020
When I awoke to the news this morning I didn't know whether to be thrilled or excited
— david cross✍ (@davidcrosss) October 2, 2020
This is not the place to take the high ground. Take that shit to Pinterest.
— Sarah Tollemache (@stollemache) October 2, 2020
I’m sorry Michelle Obama, I know we’re supposed to go high. Forgive me.
— Davon (@davonmagwood) October 2, 2020
Republicans: Be respectful and show some decorum.
Everyone: pic.twitter.com/n7fCw9nbHN
— Nick Beaton (@Nick_Beaton) October 3, 2020
Excuse me!! These people would like you all to please show a little respect! pic.twitter.com/njHRc1wKVh
— Dana Gould (@danagould) October 2, 2020
Trump fans lecturing others about respect is like Putin teaching a course on democracy
— Danish Anwar (@terrorsuspect) October 2, 2020
And the jokes came in, and they just kept coming and coming and coming…
How would a guy who lives in a gold tower named after himself even know if he lost his sense of taste?
Posted by Glenn Wool on Friday, October 2, 2020
Covid is just trying to impress Jodie Foster.
— Bryan Cook (@BryanCooking) October 2, 2020
I don’t want to make anymore jokes about Trump getting Covid. The guy has 4 kids he loves very much and also Eric
Posted by Tyler Morrison on Friday, October 2, 2020
Trump has minor symptoms. Of course he does. He was friends with Epstein.
Posted by Tom Simmons on Friday, October 2, 2020
its not karma, it’s stupidity
— marc maron (@marcmaron) October 2, 2020
Our thoughts and prayers are with the coronavirus at this difficult time#TrumpHasCovid
— The Shovel (@TheShovel) October 2, 2020
This is the same feeling I got when I first heard about stuffed crust pizza. So happy but scared it was all a lie.
— Step Toilet ???? (@StephTolev) October 2, 2020
Both Melania and the President have tested positive for Covid, confirming that the disease can be transmitted through cold distant stares.
Posted by John Moses on Friday, October 2, 2020
I like Presidents who don’t get Covid.
— Kevin Brennan – PARODY ACCOUNT (@kevinbrennan666) October 2, 2020
Biden “I have AIDS”
— Tim Dillon (@TimJDillon) October 2, 2020
Trump thought -“I am suing the family of george Floyd, Minnesota did this to me.”
— aaron “still doing stand-up” berg- standup comic) (@aaronbergcomedy) October 2, 2020
Donald and Melania are the only couple in the world that could have to quarantine together for two weeks and you know they’re not gonna fuck.
— Andrew Barr (@AndrewBarr8) October 2, 2020
This reminds me of how Churchill tried to keep ppl calm during WWII by deliberately lying to them about WWII & downplaying WWII & saying WWII 'affects virtually nobody' before ironically catching WWII.#TrumpHasCovid
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 2, 2020
If Even the healthiest and hottest man in the world can get it, this is some serious disease
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 2, 2020
Brace yourselves for Tweets about how he’s the best at Covid and what a tremendous job he’s doing working with Covid, better than any other person to have Covid.
Posted by Kathleen McGee on Friday, October 2, 2020
This is the first “positive” thing the press has reported about Trump yet.
Posted by Tom Simmons on Friday, October 2, 2020
I don't denounce every fuckin thing. Ooops. I've got Covid.
— Tim Steeves (@TimSteeves) October 2, 2020
Donald Trump getting tested for Covid…
Herman Cain: pic.twitter.com/JsyrKl4uf9
— J-L Cauvin (@JLCauvin) October 2, 2020
Oh Melania, you should have used a glory hole!
Posted by Kim Sakamoto on Friday, October 2, 2020
I’m honestly a little happy for Trump and Melania that they finally get to watch Tiger King.
— Nick Beaton (@Nick_Beaton) October 2, 2020
Trump is in a tough spot because he doesn't believe in god or medicine.
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) October 2, 2020
Update: #Trump shows signs of fever, cough and congestion, still no signs of decency.
— Ed the Sock (@EdtheSock) October 3, 2020
I can't stop thinking about how Hope Hicks was put in "quarantine" on a plane. What could that possibly mean? The overhead bin?
— Laura McGann (@lkmcgann) October 3, 2020
Biden would have caught Covid too but it isn’t transmitted by sniffing unsuspecting women’s hair
— Tyler Morrison (@tylermorrison1) October 2, 2020
My theory? This isn’t the first time Trump has had it, but this is the first time it’s been bad. My other theory is that bears aren’t real so take this with a grain of salt
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 4, 2020
As a strong supporter of the deep-state cabal of Satanic
paedophiles, I am alarmed by the QAnon theory that the President is being isolated so that a large-scale massacre of us Satanists can take place without the danger of any blood getting splattered on himI fear for my life
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) October 2, 2020
News: Trump may have to self quarantine due to Covid exposure
Mike Pence: pic.twitter.com/LHMzZ7tOnG
— J-L Cauvin (@JLCauvin) October 2, 2020
It’s weird how everyone has a conspiracy theory about Trump having covid but with regards to its origins everyone’s like “Yeah, it was a bat.”
— Ted Alexandro (@tedalexandro) October 3, 2020
I can't believe she got close enough to him to get it.
— Elayne Nasty Woman Boosler (@ElayneBoosler) October 2, 2020
Aren't "experimental" treatments usually done in trials on junkies and out-of-work actors who need to make $150 bucks?#TrumpCovid
— Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope) October 3, 2020
The Audacity of Hope
— JEN KIRKMAN ???????????? (@JenKirkman) October 2, 2020
Donald Trump Covid Update day 2 from Walter Reed Hospital (youtube link below to subscribe) pic.twitter.com/kfWsDvwh15
— J-L Cauvin (@JLCauvin) October 3, 2020
Interestingly, our 28th president, Woodrow Wilson was a victim of the 1918 flu pandemic while in office and was also a virulent racist.
— Andy Daly (@TVsAndyDaly) October 2, 2020
Is it me? I feel a lot safer with Trump in hospital.
— Eric Idle (@EricIdle) October 3, 2020
Donald Trump isn’t afraid of Covid he was already taken off life support in 1999 when his father died
— Tyler Morrison (@tylermorrison1) October 2, 2020
Trump getting Covid19 proves that two negatives really do make a positive
— Danish Anwar (@terrorsuspect) October 2, 2020
Well twitter deleted my last tweet in response to Rachel maddow's tweet to be nice to the Trumps so I'll try a different approach,
"I pray that the Trumps only have the BEST violent diarrhea". All good Jack?— david cross✍ (@davidcrosss) October 3, 2020
How could the virus that infected Trump get any more rad? I’ve got four words for ya: #BarryBondsCrossEarring pic.twitter.com/OCZNiYx6Nk
— Hunter Collins (@Hunter_Collins) October 2, 2020
Now #ChrisChristie joins the growing roster of #Trump, #Melania & associates who have #COVID. Ironically, it seems Karma, usually a single-shot sniper, is using an AR-15.
— Ed the Sock (@EdtheSock) October 3, 2020
What if he actually injected himself with bleach?? Pretty real ass.
— Luis J. Gomez (@luisjgomez) October 2, 2020
Latest bulletin dictated to Trump's doctor:
The President is well, probably weller that any President in history has ever been, and his gruelling FoxTV watching schedule will not be impacted at all by what is, after all, a Democratic hoax
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) October 2, 2020
We’re #1! https://t.co/ts5H3hEC8p
— Dana Gould (@danagould) October 3, 2020
It was hard to tell if Trump had covid because one of the early warning signs is diarrhea, which he has had for 70 straight years.
— Nick Beaton (@Nick_Beaton) October 2, 2020
This is so hard because he’s so great as a person.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) October 3, 2020
"Mel can you grab me an emergen-c" pic.twitter.com/BzIpQZ7WfQ
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) October 2, 2020
Trump would've gotten it a lot sooner if it was called Covid16
— Danish Anwar (@terrorsuspect) October 2, 2020
My thoughts, prayers, bleach, and hydroxychloroquine are with the Trump family ????????????#TrumpHasCovid
— Kyle Brownrigg (@kylebrownrigg) October 2, 2020
I bet he has “the BEST case of #COVID19, people have never seen a case like it ever before; the doctors are saying to me ‘Sir, you have the best case, it’s unbelievable.’…”
— Paul Provenza (@PaulProvenza) October 2, 2020
Barron Trump tested negative because nobody hugs him.
Posted by Tom Simmons on Friday, October 2, 2020
Donald Trump addresses the nation regarding #TrumpHasCovid #TrumpCovid – the YouTube link is below pic.twitter.com/tl7etF8kLD
— J-L Cauvin (@JLCauvin) October 2, 2020
AIDE: Everyone’s mad at you after the debate
TRUMP: Tell ‘em I got covid from you… and Melania has it too
MELANIA: Fuck Christmas
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) October 2, 2020
Let’s all just calm down and wait to see what Q has to say about this
— Emily Hellerween (@MrEmilyHeller) October 2, 2020
I for one am confident the president is doing well after the press conference by his gynecologist.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) October 4, 2020
We should all just start calling it “Trump virus”
— Paul Provenza (@PaulProvenza) October 2, 2020
We’re hearing now that Trump has refused to accept the result of his COVID test. Accusing it of mail-in voter fraud #TrumpHasCovid
— The Shovel (@TheShovel) October 2, 2020
Fortunately, Donald Trump was the only American $400 million in debt who ALSO had taxpayer-funded government health care. #TrumpHasCovid
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 2, 2020
Cheer up, Mr. President. Herman Cain got Covid and he’s still managing to tweet.
— Just Pete Woods (@thatpetewoods) October 2, 2020
It’s been a great day watching people who have been against conspiracy theories for months spin their own in regards to Trump faking covid.
— Nick Beaton (@Nick_Beaton) October 2, 2020
You know which head of state DOESN'T have COVID? Ukrainian president. You can't catch a virus if all you eat is garlic pig heads and every last one of your cells wears a tiny hat like this: pic.twitter.com/i5MB5pgvc6
— Hunter Collins (@Hunter_Collins) October 2, 2020
Trump should get the best healthcare that $750 can buy. @realDonaldTrump
— NoelCaslerComedy (@CaslerNoel) October 2, 2020
It wasn’t just professional comedians who were having a field day though. Twitter in general couldn’t stop having fun with the news
Trump has Someone hit
COVID. RIck Moranis pic.twitter.com/BAVqcLwIP0— ???????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????? ???? (@Vnorman007) October 2, 2020
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET YOURSELF TESTED pic.twitter.com/8wLMzCczwm
— kim. (@KimmyMonte) October 3, 2020
only way to save his old ass now #TrumpHasCovid pic.twitter.com/RvMedBhZzt
— Black Mamba ???? (@KevinD0rant) October 2, 2020
The coronavirus after getting infected with Donald Trump #TrumpHasCovid pic.twitter.com/Bd3y3sGfGb
— rol magaña 八 ???? (@rol_o) October 2, 2020
2 days ago Donald Trump mocked Biden for wearing a mask
Trump right now:#TrumpHasCovid #COVID19 pic.twitter.com/ZXZri7CHpj
— Alextelles13 (@Alextellas13) October 2, 2020
He’s right! #TrumpHasCovid pic.twitter.com/gMh477uGjI
— ~ JusticeGirl Says Boo! (@GirlJustice_) October 3, 2020
— Kiss_0809 (@GtKiss0809) October 3, 2020
The Tweeter of the night might have to go to @TitusNation himself though, who was also celebrating his birthday and… not feeling too reserved with his thoughts.
Well, it’s time to get a syringe and some disinfectant. Let’s save the President, with a cleaning.
I need a powerful light.— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
Damn, @TitusNation, when you make a birthday wish, you don't fuck around, huh?
— George Carlin's Ghost (@OldFuckGCG) October 2, 2020
HOAX! https://t.co/2Opx5iEhDI
— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
I remember when I had that little flu that was "Nothing" and they MEDI-VAC ED ME TO WALTER REED! 2020 is still undefeated.
— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
Let me get this straight, he was told about the virus, knew it was deadly. did everything wrong AND STILL GOT IT?!
— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
Trump is currently receiving healthcare he’s trying to take from you.
— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
FAKE FLUS!
— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
I'm sure there is good virus on both sides.
— Titus (@TitusNation) October 2, 2020
But, for our money, the funniest joke of the night went to Canada’s own Sophie Buddle for this gem
to the corona virus inside Donald Trump let me just say stand back and stand by
— ????bbg soso ???????????????? (@sophiebuddle) October 2, 2020
And we don’t know who made it, but this is the best meme to come out of #TrumpHasCovid
For those who are offended by any of these jokes… perhaps you need to go back to the top of the article and read it again, starting with all the reasons you’re wrong. Thanks to all comedians of all stripes, for doing your jobs so well, and lighting up social media this week with hilarious jokes that highlight the ridiculous times we are living through. The decade of the 2020s look to be a very difficult and trying time for the world, we’re going to need great comedy to get through it.
TRUMP DECLARES THAT COVID HAS ENDORSED HIM (From my other channel Trump The Internet – link to share/subscribe threaded below) pic.twitter.com/srCRvRIsSX
— J-L Cauvin (@JLCauvin) October 2, 2020